From Captive to Captivated

When I disappear from blogging for days at a time, know that I am with my family.  We are homeschooling.  We are going to see doctors and dentists.  We are at the library, church, or Walmart.

Sometimes, (okay let's be honest here)...almost every time I mention that I homeschool to a parent who sends their kids to school or to someone who is an empty nester, a strange expression and momentary, slightly awkward silence follow.  Most hold back what is ready to burst out of their mouths:

"Why in the world would you want to do that?  Are you CRAZY?!!"

Yes.  Yes I am.

I'm crazy about my kids.  I take pictures and videos of them all the time (like most moms I know).  I buy them foods and snacks that I know they love.  (again, like most moms)  I let them dress in the style that is the most "them." I help them discover and pursue their interests. (yep, everyone does that, too).

And then comes the clincher:

 
I spend hours and hours with them each week, teaching them, learning with them, reading to them.
We memorize math facts, journey through history, write things when we don't want to (have I mentioned writing has been nominated most hated, first to be voted off the island in our house?), keep pressing on when no one wants to press on.  We have school when it's raining, snowing, hailing - whatever.  Like the mailman, nothing stops school.  We don't have to leave the house.  Why stop?

From 8-something in the morning to 9-something at night, we are together.  Constantly.  24/7/365.
Yep - you've got it - all the time.

You know...when I started this mom gig, it didn't seem so bad.  I have a cute lil' baby.  Nothing better in the world.  It was the American Dream! 

After my first 2 weeks of sleepless nights, I thought it was some sort of really not-funny punishment for thinking motherhood would be "fun."  Then I went to my first MOPS meeting and shared my dismay.  I was told, "Don't worry - it only lasts 5 years."  Wow - that sounded like an eternity.  An insurmountable mountain of time.  At least I knew at the end of 5 years, I could joyfully send my child off to school.  No problem!  And then came child #2 and #3, after which my husband and I decided to homeschool.

Ok - so let me do the math here:


3 kids x [18 years of (diapers, potty training, learning to read, tying shoes, addition and subtraction, multiplication, creative writing, chemistry, algebra)] = virtually 54 years of mothering, teaching, and gray hairs.



All I could think was "Awesome!  Where do I sign up?"


Actually, I felt like barfing.


What?????

I was going to be chained to the house and the children for 18 years...per child!!!


That's exactly what raced through my mind.


I had a degree in education.  I was good with computers.  I had clerical skills.  I could be pursuing some sort of career and earning an income.  That's exactly what I had done until we had kids.  Jumping off the work-a-day treadmill was a very uncomfortable move for me.

I went from a predictable daily schedule with set tasks and understood expectations to a world of unknowns, the complete care for one, two, three little people, each of whom had no desire to be on a schedule.  Sleep at night?  No thank you.  Eat vegetables?  You've got to be kidding.  Take a walk?  Not over my dead body.  Take a shower without interruption.  Ha ha ha!

I went from being independent and capable to clueless and flying by the seat of my pants.

I traded in my Career Card in the game of Life for the Captive Mom card.  I was not a happy lady. 

I was not the fawning over my baby type of mom...at first.

And then, I found out that babies are people.  

 I know.  You're blown away by this shocking piece of information.  

But there I was - discovering that, once you get past the constant care, cleaning, and feeding, they are cute and cuddly (even babies who required breathing treatments, many trips to the doctor, and gallons of Tylenol)!  They are fascinating to watch develop and grow day by day, year by year.  These little people came into this world equipped to do only four things: eat, poop, cry, and sleep.  And over time, they learned to smile, giggle, move around, walk, start to talk, eat real food, sing songs, have real conversations, tell jokes, run and skip, learn to read, sing in a choir, take part in musicals, do science experiments and art projects, and learn to ride a bike...they are just plain amazing!

So I discovered I really liked these people.  They had plopped into my life and took it over.  I was a captive, really, at first.  But over time, I realized...I was captivated by them.

So I traded in my Career Card, and my Captive Mom card.  Now mine is a Captivated Mom card.  I am so grateful to be able to be with my kids and watch every stage of their development with a front row seat.  I am honored to be their teacher, giving them a springboard to life.  I am humbled to teach them about Jesus and His Word, ever so important in my life.

That doesn't mean everything is perfect and wonderful all the time.  We have our moments.  We have our days and our weeks where tempers are out of whack or we don't want to do school, or whatever.
But overall, we really like being together.  I really love what I do.  I am glad I am what I am.


A stay-at-home, homeschool mom!