BULLDOZED - (again?!!)

Have you ever been through a week when, despite your best efforts, it's crazy busy?

What once were seven beautiful blank squares on your calendar now have so much pen ink on them that the white background is virtually covered?

I've just had one of those weeks.  And every activity placed on the calendar was a "good" one.  Participating in a church ministry, music practices, manning a kids' activity area for an evening, and a homeschool get-together.  And a doctor's appointment or two.  It shouldn't be too much.  I wanted to do all these things.

But here I am, Wednesday evening, feeling BULLDOZED.

I feel as though the earth has been moved from beneath my feet and I've been pushed and pushed and pushed and all I can do is go along with it.

I set up all the meetings.  I agreed to attend practices.  I had to mentally prepare myself to get through each activity without exhausting myself too much.

(This sounds self-centered, but when you have lupus, you cannot do too much without rest or your body will start shutting down without consent.  When I push too hard, I end up on the couch for two days.  Like uh-unh.  You're not going anywhere until you've rested.)

Why do I do this to myself?  Because these are things I need to do.

We are trying to get some ministries off the ground at church, so I need to be at practices.  We need to get some young families interested in coming to our church, so I need to man the kids' activity center during our church dinners.  We need to educate our children, so I cram as much learning into them as I can before rushing off to the next activity.  We need to make sure our children have time with other children, so I need to schedule playdates with them.  And I need time with other moms of young children, specifically with those who homeschool, to encourage one another.

As I look at the above list, I realize something that was not obvious to me until now.  We need.  We need.  I need.  I am trying to fill all our needs.  I have forgotten something important.  Very important.

What God has said.  To me.  About this.

"My God will richly fill your every need in a glorious way through Christ Jesus." (Phillipians 4:19)

Richly fill.

My every need.

I was reminded by a dear friend and mentor today that it doesn't matter what I do.

His work will go on without me stressing myself out about things.

He has already got a plan.

He is nudging people, tapping them on the shoulder, and sending them to the right place to serve Him.

He has amazing plans for us, and we don't have to worry or stress or try too hard.

He's got it under control.

And I need to be reminded of that.  

Every.  

Second.  

Of my life.