Feeling Obsolete

Following the purchase of our new (to us) van, my husband and I realized we needed to be able to pay for it. 

As fun as it has been coasting along doing nothing all these years while my hubby worked full time, we decided it was time for me to pick up some (paying) work.

I say that tongue-in-cheek because, as you probably know,

being a stay-at-home mom is one of the most demanding jobs in the planet.

Mentally, I began reviewing my job skills.  I have a degree in teaching, and an expired Ohio teacher's license.  I never finished transferring my license when we were newly married because I discovered teaching jobs are very hard to come by for a fresh-out-of-college 20-something in Pennsylvania.  No sweat.  I found several office jobs, then I landed one at a law office.  With absolutely no legal experience.  Woot woot for me!  I think they relied on me for my (then) cutting edge computer skills and nice phone voice.  That was pretty much it.  I learned more over the years, but again, no degree or title earned.

After that, along came Art Girl, Shop Girl, and Hulk Boy, 1-2-3.  

(Here they are, freshly bathed 4 1/2 years ago.  Does anyone else have a hard time getting their kids to look at the camera at the same time?)

I traded academic papers for Pampers, doctorate degrees for trips to the doctor with my feverish kiddos.  I have a Master's in preparing meals under 20 minutes for waaay under 20 dollars.  I can wash tall mountains of laundry, oceans of dishes, and bathe dirty children with the greatest of ease.  I can homeschool children of different learning abilities in 3 separate grades all in one morning. Sunday school lessons are planned and executed with gusto, and are internally and eternally gratifying.

BUT                      

None of this brings a paycheck.  I don't need a paycheck for taking care of my family's needs.  I love my family and taking care of them.  I enjoy learning to excel and things that make our home run more smoothly, but none of the skills I have learned and mastered over the past 10 years amounts to a hill of beans in the work world.  Not one of these skills I worked so hard to learn and perfect - the 10- second diaper change, the boo boo kiss, the days-of-the-week song, or the voices for characters in our read-aloud books...soothing hurt feelings or encouraging dreams...none of these have monetary value. Eternal value, personal worth, and family wholeness, yes.  I wouldn't trade it.  Not for anything in the world.

SO...

That brings me back to being obsolete, which dictionary.com defines as:

1.    no longer in general use; fallen into disuse:

       Well...I'm not exactly covered in rust like the Tin Man, but my computer skills are          rusty, other than word processing and Facebook.

2.    of a discarded or outmoded type; out of date:

       Yes, my wardrobe reflects this part of the definition quite nicely.  

3.    no longer in use, especially, out of use for at least the past century.

Compare archaic.

Archaic?  Ouch!  Not quite.  Well, out of use in the rat race for the past decade, I'll give them that.  

4.

effaced by wearing down or away. 

I have most definitely been worn down by sleepless nights and endless demands on my time, attention, and energy from 3 of the most wonderful children in the world.  My sister says I should use facial cream to calm down the facial wrinkles that have begun to show themselves.  I have also noticed white hairs infiltrating my natural color.  Yoi.  And then there's the creaking and popping of joints when I get up or sit down.  I sound like popcorn popping.  A special bonus of becoming middle-aged.

I prefer to think of this as being "polished," rather than worn away.  It makes me feel better.  When you've got your own kids, they wear away your selfishness and vanity, pride and worldly ambition.  Reading bedtime stories with shampoo-scented, jammied children is far better than any award or income I could ever earn.  

They say the best things in life are free!

After a short evaluation, you know what I found I can do that doesn't require a degree?
Changing diapers, taking care of children, and other menial tasks.

So I have taken a job doing childcare a few hours a week. The children are sweet and I am glad to do it.  I also continue to work at the law office, filing a few hours a week.  A menial job no one else wants to do.

Although I would rather be tutoring or teaching or doing something I enjoy more, and that would pay more for my time, I am thankful.  I am thankful that these positions were open, and that they do not require me to work 20 or 40 hours a week.  I am thankful we can continue our homeschooling journey as a family (I came home from work today to find my husband doing lessons with Shopgirl - she was beaming, showing daddy her important new skills.)

It is at times like these when I am happy.  I will do what I have to to help this continue.

Our happy little family.


I thought it so poignant that a friend who moved away a number of years ago (who happens to be one of my inspirations for homeschooling) put a post on Facebook that gave me just the right perspective. She had taken a few pics of flowers she found growing in impossible places, with the caption: "Bloom where you're planted."

That was just what I needed to hear.

This is what God has for me to do right now, and I need to do it with all my heart, soul and strength - for his glory, not mine.