Resolute Mom

The neighbors are sending their kids to swim lessons, gymnastics, soccer and art classes.  They eat dinner in their mini-van.  I don't know how they find time to do their homework or laundry, or even talk to each other.

But this is the story for many families in our community.

We don't do any of these things.  Home.  Homeschool.  Library.  Church.  Walmart.  Grocery store and occasional doctor's appointments.  These are the places we go.  This is what we do.    

This may be largely due to our lack of disposable income.

But preceding that, my husband and I think this is so good for our kids.

They have plenty of free time.  We went to the circus a few weeks ago, so this week they created a circus, complete with carnival games and 3-ring acts.  They get to sleep in as late as they want to every day except Sundays.  I think this is exceptionally good for them, as they are constantly growing and need extra sleep to help their body keep up with its' own needs.

We tried gymnastics lessons once a week for 6 weeks, and it was too much for us.  Rushing off, splitting the family in two, eating dinner separately.  This is not for us. 

We like to be home.  We like to play Candy Land with our children.  Sometimes they take baths for an hour or two.  I don't think it's particularly important for children to rush from one activity to another all week long.  All this teaches them is to be in a hurry all the time.  I've heard friends complain that their little ones don't want to go to preschool some days.  Or to their dance or karate lessons in the evenings.  I don't think little ones should have a hard and fast schedule.  Sometimes they just want to play with Duplos or make food in their play kitchens for an hour or two.  That should be okay.  They are little children.

Back in the 80's, this is what we did.  There was no preschool.  We knew the exact number of kids in our neighborhood, their ages, and what they liked to do.  We went outside, we played from morning til dinner time.  Backyard baseball, hide and seek, ghost in the graveyard.  We rode bikes.  We traded Garbage Pail Kids and baseball cards.  We watched our teenage neighbors pierce each other's ears.  We ate many, many popsicles, drank Kool-Aid and ate hot dogs.  Unsupervised.

With the exception of the ear piercing, all this was pretty harmless.  Is it such a bad idea to let our kids grow up in the same way?  I think we turned out pretty good.  We learned how to be leaders, team players, and make a plan and try to execute it.  We knew who was the best hitter, fastest runner, had the most toys and whose mom bought the best snacks.  We had people skills, learned by experience.

And then, after bolstering myself up with this line of thought, that other line of thought creeps in.  Maybe my kids are missing out on something.  Maybe they should be learning these sports and skills.  Will the kids that do these things be more well-rounded?  Will they end up CEO's of companies because they're learning about competition and trying their best and winning?  Will our children have no drive to succeed if they are not competing for a place on a team or for the lead part in a play?

AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING???

Generally, I know we are doing the right thing for our kids.  For our family.  That doubtful thinking just sneaks in once in a while to throw me off.  I can't be too confident about my stand on parenting, can I?  At least not until they are college age and we see how this whole thing shakes out.

Why does the grass always look greener on the other side of the fence?  Why can't I be confident and steadfast in all of our parenting decisions?

I want to be one of those resolute moms that knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she is doing the right thing.  No one can persuade her to think otherwise.  She is a Rock.

I think I may qualify as a pebble, or a grain of sand.

I'm trying here.