Get In Shape, Girl!!



Any woman who has borne children can tell you.

After each child, it's harder to get in shape.

Because

1) We have no motivation.

2) We have no willpower.

3) We have children with us 24/7.

4) Muscle tone is a thing of the past.


Lately, I have noticed that it has become difficult to sit up straight or stand up straight.

This may be due to the 8 1/2 years I've spent hunching over to care for, pick up, or listen to my children.  It's sort of a protective, accommodating hunchy-thing moms do while nurturing their kids.  When that activity is combined with my poor ab muscles that have been stretched apart to their limits three times, it forms what I like to call the:

Limp Noodle Core



Yes, my core muscles are now approximately the consistency of al dente pasta.  Possibly overcooked cafeteria-style noddles.  Starchy, flabby, tone-less muscles.  And that post-baby pooch.  That's a special item.

I remember being an in-shape teenager (oh, the glory days) on the track team.  I would see mothers in the stands and just be appalled at their post-baby pooch emphasized by the high-waisted jeans that were popular back then (what were we thinking?).  "Why don't they get back in shape?  Their babies are in high school, for crying out loud!"  I thought to myself.  Now the shoe is on the other foot.


The past couple of weeks, my husband and I have watched all the Rocky movies in prep for Creed, the latest, greatest, final Rocky movie.  Watching Rocky train again and again, after retiring, after getting punched in the head a jillion times, and when he's old and arthritic.  My favorite line from Rocky VI (this is a paraphrase) was when his coach was developing a strategy for success against the young whipper-snapper who challenged him: "You can't move fast.  Your knees can't take it.  Your reflexes are shot.  You have calcium deposits on your bones.  We have no other option.  What we are going to go for here is blunt force trauma!"

And then the motivational music and training montage plays, bringing him once again to glory.


Does anyone else get goosebumps from this?  And motivation?

Hey, if arthritic, brain-damaged old Rocky can get in shape, so can I!


I'm just an al dente, out-of-shape mama.  I can do this!!  Down with the noodle!



Maybe I should ask for some vintage "Get in Shape, Girl!" equipment for Christmas.

That would do it.

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