Not Perfect, But Better.
Do anyone else's group shots look like this? This is as good as it gets with us.
This is my motto.
At one time in my life, I considered myself a perfectionist. That was when I was the only person in my life. I ate a healthy diet, I was in good physical shape, I had a super-healthy devotional life, and enjoyed my work. I shared an apartment with a college friend, it was always perfectly clean. My laundry was always done in one or two loads. I bought a small bag full of groceries and it would last me a whole week. I went on bike rides and joined a fitness club - I thought that was perfection.
But there was something I didn't know. I didn't know how empty and lonely life could be when I was by myself. And how quiet.
I may have been teaching a classroom full of kids, but none of them were my own.
I lived close to my family, but I didn't have one of my own. Most of the time, I was alone at our apartment. I could hear every last creak and pop in the house. There were no sounds of lively voices to drown out those dreary details.
Sometimes I wish I could have one of those "alone" days back. Just one. I would soak up the quiet and perhaps read a book. With nothing else on my "to do list," I could just kick back and relax. Wouldn't that be nice? I would enjoy my neat, clean, orderly house. It would smell fresh and all the dishes and laundry would be clean and put away. I remember when my hair was just right, my clothes were new and just right...I even did my nails and makeup! An added bonus was a full night's sleep every day of the year! (Wow - was that really my life?)
Today, my "to do list" is so long, I don't even know where to begin. From the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning, there are things to do. School, errands, phone calls, appointments, housework, meal planning, evening events...we know the drill. And all of it in a noisy, cluttery house with noisy, cluttery kids.
You know from previous posts homeschool is a challenge to families who choose this route. We almost always have to put everything else aside for several hours a day so we can complete our school tasks for the day. This is why there are piles of stuff all over the house. Hopefully, school time accumulates piles of useful stuff in our kids' heads, too. Not perfect, but pretty good.
Dogs barking, children yelling and laughing. Piles of Sunday school papers, choir flyers, crafts, and kids' meal toys cover my kitchen counter. Our mail shelf is always covered with at least a month's worth of mail. The kitchen table is cleaned off many times a day - meal, craft, meal, school, meal, game, snack, bedtime! Whew!
To keep from getting overwhelmed, I pick a project every day. I chose to vacuum today. Granted, I was doing it at 9:00 this evening, but it got done. Tomorrow I may choose to de-clutter the counter for 10 minutes, making a small square of space available for the next pile of stuff that comes hom
e with the kids. While the kids are working on schoolwork, I might shuffle through the mail and sift out the junk mail to burn in the wood stove. Did I make it through the whole pile? No. But it's a little better.
My dear hubby washes our laundry and fills all the baskets (he knows this is my love language - help with the housework - hubba hubba!). I fold one basket at a time, when I can find 5 spare minutes, and take it upstairs. Another day, I recruit the kids to deliver the laundry to their rooms. It may take us all week, but we usually have clean clothes to wear when we need them. Not perfect, but better.
Even though I don't have hours of quiet and my cleaning is not done as I'd like, I think I like it this way. I'm used to it. Like the man at the circus who spins plates on skinny swirling poles, we added one thing at a time - our marriage, one, two, three kids, homeschooling, a church, a dog...so we slowly acclimated to all this craziness and now this is our life. Not perfect, but better.
I love that I can choose to ignore all my housework and "to do's" to snuggle on the couch with one of my kiddos to read a book together or just talk. I love that I can take time to look at Art Girl's artwork or see her latest creation as she is making it (real time). I love hugs any time of day from my rambunctious Hulk Boy.
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