Carrion-Operated Laundry

A puppy has brought many new things into our lives.

Chewing, barking, going potty on the carpet - all that fun stuff.

I thought I was a total genius when I decided to make my own pee pads by recycling some waterproof crib mattress pads.  I just cut the elastic off, and voila!  Free piddle pads for our pup.

It worked really well for a while, and I'd wash them once or twice a week.

I promise I'm getting to the point.  Stick with me.  It'll be worth it.

In our effort to further potty training, we moved the pads outside, so he could smell the scent on the grass.

This was good in theory, but one thing I didn't expect was that sun and rain would set the stains and smells in the fabric.  No problem.  I've washed cloth diapers before.  No problem.  I can handle this.

Except after a month or so, my dryer-fresh laundry began to smell.  Smelled bad.  Like a pet store.

Pet store scented laundry.  Great.

Maybe if I keep washing and drying the laundry, the smell will eventually fade away.

Tried that.  Didn't work.

Maybe if I clean the washer, that will fix it.  Looked up how to clean my washer on Pinterest (thank you, Pinterest!)  Spent a day doing the process and getting behind on laundry.  It would be worth it, I knew.

Ok - washer was sparkling clean, laundry smelled fresh, and after drying, smelled just as bad.

My next approach was to air out the laundry for several days before folding.  That made the smell dissipate.

It was embarrassing to admit it was my fault that I waited too long to wash my doggie pee pads and now my family's laundry smelled like doggie byproducts.  I couldn't bring myself to say anything, even to my husband.  He has a very limited sense of smell, so I was sure he couldn't smell it.

This week, during our stay-cation, when we had a day at home, I did it.  Our laundry had started smelling worse.  I didn't know how that was possible, but now my fresh, clean laundry started smelling like dead animal.  I admitted to my husband I had tried everything I could to rid our machines of animal smell and failed.  I hate failing.  I hate admitting I've failed, even if it has to do with the laundry.

But it was time.

My husband dutifully heaved the dryer out from the wall, and I dutifully climbed behind it to see if anything was hiding in the dryer vent. I am conveniently travel-sized, so I fit easily in small spaces.

There's really not many places something can hide or accumulate in a dryer, so this had to be it.

I took a paper towel and started reaching around in there.  I thought it was probably dog hair.  I can handle that.  Some brownish-green liquid came out.  Ok, gross.  I wiped that down, then reached in further.  Hmm...something I could grab hold of.  Okay - I'll grab it and pull it out.  It's probably just a wad of fur.

So I grabbed and pulled...

Oh - it was a wad of fur, alright...and an entire squirrel, dead and decaying, covered in greenish brown goo!

I screamed, I gagged, I fought off the heaves.  My husband gawked in disbelief, and then snapped the above pic of me.  He said this would make a great blog, so I should have a picture.  Done.  The kids came running to see what mommy was yelling about (oh so exciting).  I regained my composure and bagged the sucker.  Thank you, Walmart, for my many plastic bags.  They are so useful for everything, including sealing off the smell of rotting animals.

Hubby made trips up and down the stairs to retrieve more plastic bags, paper towels, a toothbrush, and some vinegar solution to clean up the disgusting mess.

After cleaning this up (head in the game, not thinking about what it was I was scrubbing off my dryer vent - it's what moms do), I began to reflect:

Bounce?  Snuggle?  No...we prefer dead animal scented clothing.  Squirrel, to be specific.  In fact, we've been sporting the scent for months.  Probably all summer.

Some poor little squirrel was hunting for a nice place to make a nest for his squirrelings last spring and slipped down our dryer vent pipe, never again to see the light of day.

So, if you noticed the smell of carrion while we were hanging out with you this summer, yup - it was us.

Sorry 'bout that.