Encouragement for Moms

When I think of being a Career Mom, the goals are not as easily defined. I was not chosen when I was young to pursue this profession. I was in my mid twenties when I first became a mom, and after the first few weeks, I thought: "Wow, this job stinks!"
There are no breaks. There is no pay. No pats on the back for a job well done. Just sleepless nights, zombie days, and more and more work piling up with no end in sight. I wondered, "Who in their right mind would volunteer for this?"
"Oh yeah - we did."
The parallel to The Hunger Games at this point would be the major theme of survival. As far as I could see, winning wasn't an option. At least not by myself. I needed to figure out a winning strategy.
Survival Step 1: Make some friends!!
When I joined MOPS, I had other moms to compare notes with. We discussed feeding, diapering, sleep habits - I felt really good about it because I had something to say. I had experience, and that is the best teacher in this game.
As a homeschool mom, I'm working on forming a network so that other homeschool families and we can get together for play, parties, and being around other people who made the same educational choice. Who am I kidding? I formed the group so that I could hang out and chat with other moms in the same situation I'm in. Just like MOPS, this is my support community. We help each other figure out the ropes of homeschooling together. It's great!!
Survival Step 2: Get some help!!
I noticed I was trying to do everything
all the time
by myself.
In doing that, I unknowingly edged my husband out of helping me. He was working and bringing home the bacon. The least I could do was take care of our household. By myself.
Then I came down with lupus, which shot me down from my reign of (perceived) perfection.
Some days, I could hardly make food for the kids - I was so tired! Not to mention the cleaning and the homeschooling. By myself, it was an impossible task.
I realized I needed help, and lots of it!
Once God pointed out that my previous line of thought was totally wrong...things began to ease up.
I also learned that my husband and I
are supposed to work together!!!
My husband volunteered to catch up the laundry on a weekly basis (sometimes 7 loads!!). He also revealed that he'd love to help homeschool our daughter. Really? This was great!! What was I thinking? Why did I think I had to do this all myself?
Step 3: Take Your Time.
Our children have grown a few years older and now I've discovered there is a slight reprieve. The laundry and dishes aren't as bad anymore. They're growing up and learning responsibility. And one of our children likes to wear the same outfit 3 days in a row, so that saves on laundry, too. We're almost done with sippy cups and diapers. I have finally reached the place where I have some breathing room.Step 4: Find Your Skill!
I started a blog because I enjoy writing. I started some part-time work outside the home again because the work is rewarding to me. I still teach homeschool, and whaddya know - BONUS - we have a lot more fun when we only have 3 days a week to cover.Now my husband has a chance to teach our daughter two mornings a week, and I enjoy getting out of the house in professional clothing and bringing home a little bacon.
Letting go of The Mom mentality
(You know - Having to do everything perfectly, by myself and
dominating everyone in my family in the process...)
has freed me up to pursue some of my interests, it has improved my relationship with the kids (especially during homeschool lessons), and the best part is that I think it has improved our marriage.
Decreased stress, increased happiness...win win win!!
I pray he will open your eyes to ways you can make your life with your family more enjoyable, too.
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